drame_du_belle

allo tout le monde!!

happy new year!!

im scared for this year,, primarily because of the idea of going to college [leaving my friends and taking more serious studies,, -and just everything about it!!] bothers me,,..

im scared,, scared to open the envelopes with the results of the entance tests,.. what if i dont pass any college?,,, where will i study??-i dont want to be a bum! i just applied to 4 colleges,, and they are the 4 top schools of the country,-and i must say that the competition is really tough!-,,  as much as possible, i just dont want to think about, it depresses me,,  =( but it's inevitable,, sooner or later i'll have to deal abt it! (---umm,,i think it's more of sooner),,-

anyways,,,  abt other things i worry--- intrams is coming and i havent practiceD!! the only swimming i had done this vacation was when my cousins and i went to punta fuego--i swam against the waves with the fishes,,hehe,,that was fun!!.. im a senior and since this is the last intramurals im going to experience-victory is important! ofcourse we wouldn't want to be beaten by a bunch of ***** opponents especially the juniors!! that would be embarassing!\

ok,, enough of it,,,ill just thinkl abt the exciting stuff for this year

,,,

i am so looking forward to summer ,, my mom told me that we will be spending the whole summer break in america!! how exciting!!that will be their grad and 18th birthday gift pour moi!! well, actually i asked for a trip to europe or any country in europe but unfortunately we dont have that large amt of money for that because it is SO expensive and so they just thought abt bringing me to america since i havent been there and ofcourse - go shopping!  when we go there my mom is going to bring me to my cousins-because i have a lot of cousins there i have hardly met!  =)  and we will also look for some good colleges i might apply to- my uncle suggests that i go to a military school in Michigan and apply to their scholarship program,,  i think that it's a good idea, im not worrying of them sending me to iraq because that is a different course -i think,,basta it wont happen,,

anyways,, i think it's all for now,, it's 2:42 in the morning,, and they want me to sleep na,,

--OCHIE

Humeur actuelle: mamatay na!!
Musique actuelle: my nose, my ears.. where's my eye

i hate this day. i hate my eye.. it all started with a lump underneath my eye.. made by a freakin insect (why do you have to bit in my face stupid creature why notin my thigs or arms there are more blood there compared to my effing face!).. the lump suddenly decided to evolved into this namamagang thing that cactually covered from my left eye all the way to my cheek bones.. i mean what the hell are you thinking!! did i do something really bad to deserve this?.. i certainly did not!

by the way my name is debbie.. and i cannot understand french only my better half goldilocks.. i love milk.. the only french thing that i understand here is drame du belle which means " the drama of the beautifuls" pretty cool huh? as you can se we are both the no. one actors in the this page so buzz of to those who are thinking of stealing the limelight from us freakos.. make your own journal.. this is both ours.. goldie and milkie's..

back to the topic.. i am so freakin in pain right now!! lord please make it stop.. make it stop.. i also feel useless since i evidently have no contribution to this page except the word "drama" which i got from my knowledge of it.. yes i am a selp-propessed actredd in an organization that are so full of dvas and are so stupid to even recognize true talents.. ehem like me.. but their own self.. suck it all up primadonnas!! just keep on suckin!

Hola todos!!

People used to tell me to enjoy my life while I am still young, I did not quite understand this when I was a kid. I would pretend to be older to be allowed to watch movies that children below 13 are not supposed to watch. My friends and I would talk, act and behave like teenagers, we were trying to speed up time, we were racing against the wind of youth, so excited to be a young lady courted by handsome boys, being independent and attending parties like Cinderella and other princesses.

It is so ironic now how I try so much to be a kid again, digging up my old toys like Barbie and playing with my Polly pockets once in a while and doing stuff that I have grown out of. I admit that this is quite weird because most of the teenagers my age usually spend hours in the parlor, talk to boys on the phone, go out on a date, spend most of the time with friends and go to the mall. Even though I am in the right age to be doing this kind of stuff, I believe that it is never too late to go back to my playful and youthful me again. I mean I am not that old not to play childish games anymore right?

 I remember when I was in first year, every dismissal time my friends and I would play and talk about weird stuff and laugh so loud that people who pass by gets annoyed. I know that it is kind of embarrassing because we act like we do not have manners but it was fun because we felt like a kid again, a kid who is innocent of the world she lives in, one who does not care about what people will say nor think about her behavior. I miss those days when I can go to the mall wearing anything and yet unconscious of everyone watching. Now when I go to the mall, hours have passed and I have not yet finished choosing which clothes to wear. It is just so different when you are older.  

There was a time in my life that was so complicated, I was torn between womanhood and childhood. It all started when I met a boy in our interaction. I did not really like him the first time we met because honestly, I thought he was ugly. But I kept on seeing him in our school because his sisters are also studying in our school. Whenever I see him I would always tell everyone that he was my partner in the interaction. I was so proud of that stupid fact. And so when I see him, I would always feel overwhelmed and happy until my friends teased me about him and began to develop a very stupid feeling towards this boy. Because of this I tried everything just to know him and to become close to him. I asked for his number from a friend and I started texting him. It was so foolish of me to do those things; I can not even believe that I was not under a sort of spell when I did that. And so eventually we became really close. I was so infatuated that almost everyone I know was aware that I had a crush on him. And because of my obvious affection towards him, he eventually found out that I had a crush on him. Actually even his family knew that I had this feeling towards him. Everything went well for 13 months until I found out that he has a crush on one of my close friends. It was really painful that I can not even look at my friend for one week because of this agony that I was carrying. What’s even worse was he confided to my other friend to help him in courting his crush. This made everything worse because it made my barkada split into two, one stayed with my other friend and most of them stayed at my side. It was a really treacherous year for us. I would cry every night for many weeks. I felt so sad because if I did not meet him this would not happen, my barkada would still be one. Just because of this stupid boy, I lost my friend. But eventually the conflict ended and we became friends again. The wound in our hearts were healed by time and understanding that we were both at fault. As for the boy, I started to disconnect with him, I erased his number in my phone, and I started to forget him.

This experience helped me a lot to be a better person. Because of this I am able to detach myself easily from things that I used to be so attached to. This has made me more careful to befriend people especially of the opposite sex. It awakened me that I cannot always get what I want. There will always be sacrifices and adjustments where ever I go. And I realized that boys can come and go but my girl friends will always be here for me; and that it was difficult to be a woman, life is more complicated, but eventually I will have to be a woman and do things that I fancy when I was young, but it is definitely not now. That is why while I am not yet a woman and not any more a girl I am just enjoying my life the way that I should be enjoying it and behaving my age which is more of a kid.  

 -----yo soy golda-----  *ochie

hello world! the name is

DEBBIE C=

allo tout le monde!

je m'appelle Ochie!